the shit

January is always difficult. after so many years working swing shifts under artificial lights, spending my evenings surrounded by people and activity and feeling useful, it's still clumsy for me to navigate prolonged darkness on my own. January, for me, is about feeling amorphously lonely, able to speculate about my weird life in a detached, practically apathetic way, but still not wanting anyone else around. sometimes I think of my introversion as just another addiction, and by indulging it I potentially cause greater harm. 

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I get really relieved when it's rainy and grey; I am removed from any sort of obligation to be boisterous and cheerful. I get to cut myself some fucking slack. it's a frustrating fucking trait, but it's also why I like Seattle (and winter in general?) so much: we all do this. everyone here kinda hangs on by a thread until late February, it's just that some threads are far more tenuous than others.

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16th & Denny.

Boren & Stewart (?). this was a former auto dealer. 

and the old Valû Villaž on Capitol Hill. 

Mt Rainier via the Broadway post office. 

and last night's sunset in monochrome. 

just now: true love masquerading as bored narcissism. 

another massive contributor to today's mood: David Bowie, man. I am fucking gutted by this. this feeling is another thing we all have in common, I suppose; there is strange comfort to be found in that. life is fucking short. so what are you going to do now?