I woke up this morning in my own lair, under blankets for the first time in days, my cat sleeping on the backs of my legs. it was cloudy. all my shit was where I'd left it. it smelled like the incense I'd burned when I stumbled in late last night. I walked to the store with a sweater rubbing against my sunburn. the check-out guy said "you want double bags? I won't charge you." seattle smelled clean and green and alive. it doesn't hurt to breathe here, but it's still a lovely tangible feeling. inhaling the humidity here reminds me of the best part of smoking cigarettes, that tiny pull on the back of your throat.
and those are just the little things.
I feel so fucking schmaltzily grateful for everything, I'm forced to roll my eyes sardonically as I write this.
how fucking easy and beautiful life is.
*
as I left Austin. 
the flight back was horrible. we were delayed an hour and a half. I was sandwiched between two massive guys with splayed knees and unapologetic armrest-hoggery. one snored loudly and ceaselessly. my battery nearly died. my sunburn started to itch infuriatingly. I tried to sleep and couldn't. I listened to Neu! and tried not to think frantic weird thoughts. and then, about half an hour before we landed, I glanced outside the window and saw Mt Rainier looming through the clouds, fully illuminated by the full moon. it was fucking gorgeous and eerie, like seeing an iceberg from below. the snoring guy next to me had awoken and was also looking out the window from the aisle seat. "do you see that?" I asked. he nodded respectfully. and after that, the plane started to descend and I felt exponentially better.
some eras in life just have much brighter colors and much sharper edges.
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