sowing the seeds

tomorrow it will have been a year since I moved to Alaska. what's different now? everything. I feel wiser and stupider and sadder and happier, often simultaneously. I feel both disillusioned and newly appreciative. my temper flares in unexpected ways, but there is a surprising amount of shit I've simply let go. I've always hated the term "whatever"; it implies passivity and indifference. but I find myself thinking it lately. whatever. it has a pleasant tendency of diffusing a lot of negative energy. 

yesterday I met someone at the farmer's market who makes various wood jewelry. I was admiring a pair of earrings that he gleefully informed me were marijuana shake encased in clear resin. "every time I see you you're always smiling" he said. I had no recollection of ever seeing him before, but maybe I'm not as anonymous as I like to pretend. I wander around with my hair and my headphones, completely fucking oblivious most of the time, so it caught me off guard. "sometimes I'm sneering" was what I blurted out in response. thankfully he laughed, because I really did mean it to be funny. we actually had a fairly nice conversation, but even still, as I walked away I thought "o poise and appropriateness, will such traits ever befall me?"

it's easier to pretend I can hide here.

16th Ave. 

the empty bus on a Friday night.

I forget how many filters I ran this through. a couple. my building is on the right. 

condensation in my window. 

cool aside: I looked up the property record for my new lair. it's a converted 1900 (the landlord was incorrect) mansion that's now 8(?) apartments on a 9000+ square foot lot with a big ol' yard at the top of Capitol Hill. price paid when the property was last sold, in 1999? $180,000. I said "holy fuck" aloud. it must have been a fucking shithole, or it was passed down somehow. 

señor mysterioso and culturally indelicate yet admittedly adorable salt & pepper shakers? check. 

it's mating season. every living thing is preening. 

these guys. I was just walking behind them and I had to. I love everything about this photograph. 

I have a phrasebook for amazing situations in eight different countries. so if you're in France, and you want to say "all I carry in my purse is a tube of lipstick and a revolver", it's "tout ce que j'ai dans mon sac, c'est du rouge à lèvres et un revolver."